Here is my response to the 2nd in a 3 part series from my good friend DJ Vince Adams.  If you haven't read it already...please check it out at...

http://djvinceadams.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/an-open-letter-to-women/

Ok, I've been sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for Part Two of your Open Letter Series...and this one hit HARD just as I suspected.  Kudos to you for being so in-tune with the nature of relationships and specifically for what has been a focus of my coaching practices for the past ten years...SELF AWARENESS.

As you know and I've shared with you and others...I have walked both sides of the dating fence.  I left the world of men thinking that I could not find what I needed; having been scorned in the past and after having dated several BUSTERS...I was fed up completely.  As a result, I turned to what I thought would be better...dating women.

During this time, I witnessed every single thing you have mentioned here.  I thought dating women would be easier, that they would know what to do and how to be there, nurturing, supportive, compassionate ~ why not...they were women.  But what I found during that time...was MYSELF.

I tried on "several different hats" trying to find the "right one" only to realize that I was NOT the type of person that would be attractive to what I was actually looking for.  Luckily for me, while working on my degree in Metaphysics, my coursework took me on a "deep dive" into my psyche and my spirit.  What I saw there wasn't pretty ~ The Journey Through My Heart http://site.anitacharlot.com/Relationships.html ~ was a true eye-opener for me.

I was forced to deal with myself; face myself and the people around me.  I began to get in touch with my truth, ask others to tell me about me...and then looked at those in my immediate circle.  If they were not taking accountability for their actions...I decreased the amount of time around them.  As I became more in touch with my truth and tried to live that truth with my old crowd...they were not having it.  Therefore, as I grew, I had to walk away from those "friendships that were not consistent to who I wanted to become.

Through ALL of my tenure on the other side, I learned the difference between dating as a woman in touch with her true identity - one that was self aware - and dating as an "Uncompromising Woman" http://site.anitacharlot.com/Uncompromising.html  - one that was not budging for anyone based on previous pain or having to be “strong” for so long. 

I took time to get in touch with me so that I could help my clients get in touch with themselves.  I work on becoming more and more self-aware and living my life from it.  I took the time to learn the "energy of men" and recalibrated my energy to be in alignment.  And ladies...alignment doesn't mean submissive...to me it means wanting to show up clearly as love, to relate with love, to share love...all for the sake of love.  Not necessarily to get the man to fall in love...but just BEING LOVE ITSELF. In my practice as the Self-Awareness and Relationship Transformation Coach, I work with clients to assist them in recognizing how they are standing in their own way of receiving what it is they REALLY want since they do not yet recognize who they REALLY ARE!

Confident, Self-Aware, Compassionate, Nurturing, Loving, Kind, Able to Articulate your truth without being Overbearing WOMAN that you CAN BECOME...show up to grow up and into awareness of yourself...no matter where you are in your life's journey. You would be surprised at the turn your life – relationships on all levels – will take.

Vince...Hugs to you...you always have been and will continue to be a wonderful man!!! Looking forward to Part III.